A late night conversation between Rodion Romanovitch Raskolinkov (RRR) and Modi ji

Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov is a law student from the Dostoevskian school of thought. He is a very quiet person, he left college to prove some absurd theory about the crime. According to his theory, there are two kinds of people, superior and inferior, and superior people have the right to commit the crime. He is famous since 1886 and recently Modiji wanted to show some of his charismatic characters so he opted to take a conversation with Mr.RRR.

The set was quite modified for the interview and audience members are paid to laugh at every sentence of Modi Ji. In backstage two branded whiskey dated 1600 were there for some refreshment. Both RRR and Modi Ji took two shots and went to the stage. The applause is preset by PAs that it should be nonstop for two minutes. And it is the longest applause from audiences for RRR in his life.

The first time unfortunate happened, Modi Ji introduced RRR to his show, though he was feeling uncomfortable about it, he didn't react. Both took their seat, instead of RRR Modi Ji asked the first question. Tell me, why I wanted to come to your show, tell me? RRR didn't expect this should be a question so he got confused firstly, but he managed to answer finally. I think there is no one capable to take your interview. Correct. I think I should open a new all-India Institute for Journalism, IIJ. That will be great for the country, Everyone has a chance to study journalism at an elite Institute. Modi Ji leaned towards him and whispered not for everyone, and came back to position and said you are right and said everyone with gesturing air quote. The audience applauded for precise two minutes. RRR wanted to ask the next question but Modi Ji already started, why are you not franchise your show, we will provide everything for your show in India. I am sorry I don't know the Make in India scheme is still running or not. Is it running now? Modi Ji was confused and managed to say, yeah it was my first scheme, it should be running? Make in India, made in India.

Should we take a break? It's only 5 minutes. Okay, here is a question for you? okay. Have you ever been to Kedarnath? No, I am not an electoral candidate. Is this your final answer? Modi Ji's eyes are red hot now. RRR sensed the danger. There is not a direct train service there. So. That's the correct answer, I will make a cheap direct helicopter service for all people from all over India. Is this a scheme like freedom 251 phone? That's not our scheme. Like demonization? Demonetization has boosted the country's economy all-time high. Should we talk about the current time? Yes, absolutely. India's GDP is now similar to Bangladesh. Pakistan is now in the bunker, China is daily calling me for a press release about china's sovereignty. Nepal peacefully gave our ceased land. We curbed the COVID successfully like no other country. Last year we gave 20lakh crore and this year 15 lakh crore to people for compensation for job loss and lockdown. Successfully changed some city's names. GST changed the course of businesses, now all the states are praising me for GST. And recently our boys and girls make proud here in your country, I clicked pictures with everyone and most recently I managed to free myself and fulfilled Biden's request. Modi Ji said all this in one breath. He panted. RRR gave him some water. wah, Modi Ji wah. Our news channel never showed your this achievement. Only shows about long farmer protest, CAA protest, doctor protest, student protest, Delhi riots, Covid mismanagement, farmer suicide, and murder, media, and political atrocities. What will you say all about this? RRR is now very angry, he even hits the table hard in front of him. Modi Ji looked at him calmly. RRR also gets calm. Answer me? Modi Ji replied simply and calmly, you are watching the wrong tv channel, I will send you our tv channel link, you will get the correct information. Don't believe whatever you are seeing. I am the illusion. Please stop it, Modi Ji, philosophy is my field. Don't interfere in it. I can interfere anywhere. I know, you are very photogenic to the cameraman. Modi Ji smiled and leaned towards him, I want two more shots.

RRR showed his assistant to come with shots. Let ask me some philosophical questions? I had a wish to be a teacher in philosophy. That's all right. The question is,  do violent people make politics or politics make people violent? Either can be right and wrong. But for me, politics made me a saint, The shots were there, Modi Ji gulped at once and completed the sentence, and I made politics pious. Two minutes more. I have to go, I have a photo session.

Okay rapid fire

Modi Ji: binga

RRR: who is your best friend?

Modi Ji: cameraman

RRR: have you ever fell in love?

Modi Ji: heck yeah

RRR: do your government want Hindu Rashtra?

Modi Ji: unofficially

RRR: according to you, who is your biggest opponent?

Modi Ji: myself

RRR: when will you stop politics?

Modi Ji: never, Modi school of politics already started

RRR: What do you do in your free time?

Modi Ji: watch my memes

RRR: what's your take on WhatsApp university?

Modi Ji: I like the rumor and exaggerated things

RRR: how you describe hate towards you?

Modi Ji: all hate are remembered, hate will be repaid

RRR: what is your biggest dream?

Modi Ji: I will make India shine everywhere at any cost.

Thank you. You played well. The audience applauded for two minutes. And both left to backstage. There Modi Ji took photos with all and took another shot and left.